Twenty Greatest Mets Follies

Given that the world is collapsing politically, socially and economically before my very eyes (and outside of the Bank of America debacle and the Gaza war which I am temporarily holding off on writing about, there isn’t all that much other exciting stuff going on), yesterday I turned my thoughts to the back fields of Port St. Lucie, Florida, where pitchers and catchers are due to report for the New York Metropolitans in less than 30 days. While I assumed this might be a bright spot in an otherwise dark world, upon further review I realized that the Mets’ recent history (and actually their entire history) has been just as depressing as that of modern-day America. Thus, in my venting, without further ado I present to you the twenty greatest follies (from present to past) of the New York Mets; follies that put even the US government to shame:

1. The new Citi Field inaugural season patch getting lambasted by everyone from ESPN to the NYT (Stephen Colbert too!)

2.The fact that Citi Field is already rusting (thank you unions)

3. The fact that the Mets chose Citi as their sponsor in the first place

4. The fact that of all teams, only the Mets lost money to Madoff

5. The handling of the firing of Willie Randolph (they actually made us feel bad for him…sort of)

6. Calling yourselves the “team to beat” (Beltran said this no less), only to lose the division to the Phillies…again…they won the World Series too

7. Blowing leads of 7 and 3.5 games with 17 games to play during the last two Septembers, while being officially eliminated (at home) with losses to the Marlins on the last day of the season both times

8. Our entire bullpen last year (throw in Guillermo Mota there too even though that was 2007)

And this is just IN THE LAST TWO YEARS mind you. Lest we forget about:

9. Trading for Roberto Alomar and Mo Vaughn (note Mo’s Carnegie Deli sandwich)

10. Jeromy Burnitz circa 2002

11. The Arod “24-plus-one” mishap (for better or worse)

12. The whole Mike Piazza gay thing

13. Bobby Bonilla circa 1999 (read the comments); also, note that from 2011-2035 we will be paying him approximately $1.2 million a year; thanks again for that present, Steve

14. Generation K

15. Jeromy Burnitz circa 1993

16. The “Worst Team Money Could Buy” of 1992…oh and Bobby Bonilla circa this same year

17. The incredible waste of talent of the 1980s Mets, in addition to their 1986 “Let’s Go Mets!” music video

18. The entire decade of the 1970s (1973 excluded); this isn’t just about the Mets, I mean everything about the decade in general (especially this)

19. Every single overhyped prospect, including, but not limited to: Billy Beane (he should have been our GM, not our player), Gregg Jefferies, Alex Ochoa, Alex Escobar, Fernando Martinez (rushing to judgment here, but do you really have faith that he is going to be a star) and the aforementioned Generation K (outside of Izzy to an extent), not to mention all of the guys they missed out on

20. Last but not least, trading away: Nolan Ryan, Tom Seaver, David Cone, Scott Kazmir (for Victor Zambrano…wrong Zambrano guys), Mike Scott (who then almost singlehandedly cost the Mets the ’86 pennant), Lenny Dykstra, Jeff Kent and somewhat less painfully, Melvin Mora

I leave out the 1960s because that wouldn’t be fair, though the ’62 Mets (aka the worst team ever) further add to the franchise’s lore. I also exclude Shea Stadium (may it rest in peace) because I grew up there. Oh yea, and as for Armando Benitez (I’ll give Mel Rojas a break), much as I hate him, he got on my good side last time I saw him pitch.

Now with all that being said, imagine being a die hard Mets fan and a liberty-loving, staunch free-marketeer these days…welcome to my world. Still, I am reminded of the late great Met, Tug McGraw, who said, “I never smoked AstroTurf,” er…rather, “Ya gotta believe.” Hope always springs eternal in the lush, rolling meadows, of a little place I like to call Flushing.

  1. MrCooperWandling
    January 16, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    I’m not a New Yorker in the least, but the 80’s Mets were my favorites!! Daryl, Dwight, Ron, HoJo, Keith, Orosco, Mookie…They were all about blown talent though, excess, excess, excess, which in a ture way, the Diwght Gooden Mets, embody all that has become wrong with America, in that they lived in irresponsible excess, threw away their dreams….rather than found a harmonious balance of excess with focus, cocaine use with green tea, getting arrested and doing volunteer work, rather than community service…If only Dave Parker had been on that team, I think it very well would have been the baddest ass team EVER. Not only would they kick your ass on the field, but afterwards, beat you up and then steal your money and women…

  2. Anonymous
    January 16, 2009 at 7:56 pm

    Oh, you have only scratched the surface of Met Follies. How about Vince Coleman throwing an M-80 at the press corp, Brett Saberhagen playfully shooting a water canon in the locker room — until it was realized that it was filled with bleach!. Richy Hebner admitting that he intentionally threw a ball away in order to end the formerly annual Mayor’s Trophy Game between the Mets and Yanks. Hebner was later traded for flipping teh bird to some Shea faithful who were heckling him. Anything to do with Casy Stengal or Marvelous Marv Thronberry. And, of course, the David Cone exposing himself in teh bullpen to some young female fans who were invited in for a “tour”.That’s just some — I could go on forever. Anbody remember Daryl Boston? Or the infamous Cleon Jones “don’t come knockin’ if this van’s a rockin'” episode.Jeez — Met spring training episones alone would fill a chapter.

  3. contender
    January 19, 2009 at 5:04 am

    You’re a big-time Mets fan, but not a fan of government intervention in the marketplace: what side do you fall on in the request for the recently approved tax-exempt bonds for the mets (and yankees)?

  4. Andrew Mellon
    January 19, 2009 at 8:48 am

    I do not believe the taxpayer should subsidize it unless they so choose it. It should not fall on New Yorkers who do not support it however.

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